I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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