My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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