My nipple is on Facebook.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my being single is dangerous.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
