if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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