Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
