My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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