absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
