I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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