Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
