He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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