Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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