Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
