You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize