Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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