I want to have your abortion
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
