U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Come on in and take your pants off
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