another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
