I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
