i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
