Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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