So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
