what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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