i just had sex bonerless
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
