So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
