i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
