Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
