Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
