This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
