I think I died a long time ago.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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