I feel like abortions should bother me more
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
