Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize