Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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