i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dicks are not precious.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize