Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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