I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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