I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
