I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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