I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
