so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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