if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
