thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hippo gnu deer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
