Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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