$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
