If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize