yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize