So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Randomize
