sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
