I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
