nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
as a side note pls kill me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize