It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
