The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
