neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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