sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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