He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
