I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
