you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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