What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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