My hand turned me down
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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