Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
