Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize