About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
