Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize