Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Your penis caused this!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
