can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
