did you get engaged???
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
