Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize