I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
