I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
