I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
