Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize