Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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