I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
