if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
